Maggie Pill

The Most Entertaining Cozy Author You Never Heard Of!


Thursday, August 4, 2016

Household Tips--with Cat

Making coffee: fill your coffeemaker with cold water and the correct amount of coffee. Explain to cat that you aren't doing anything she should worry about. For the 9 millionth time.

Fill cat's water dish. Set it down carefully, avoiding cat's attempts to bump it with her head.

Making the bed: straighten the fitted sheet, moving cat gently aside. Smooth top sheet over bottom, at which point cat will hurry to the center and crouch down.

Wait for cat to get bored with being covered up and squirm her way out the side. Smooth sheets again.



 Pull spread over sheets, being careful not to upset cat, who is now tumbling along with spread. Ignore her glare at the very idea that blankets should be flat and smooth.

Clean catbox. Get in and out as fast as possible. Cat is waiting to use it.

Work at your computer, making sure cat has a comfortable spot where she can monitor your accomplishments.






Make lunch. Explain to cat that a running can opener does not necessarily mean it's time for her to eat again.

Work in yard. Be prepared for cat to appear from unexpected places, imitating snakes and other startling creatures.

Eat dinner. Attempt to share with cat, who appears interested in what's on your plate until you give her some, then puts her tail up and walks away.

Relax in your chair, making sure chair is exactly the way cat likes it, depending on the season. Read a book if cat approves. If you surf the net or play games instead, hold device firmly so cat can scratch her head against it as needed.

Go to bed. Be sure to leave plenty of room for cat in the following areas: at your feet. At your side. Near your head. At your back. And definitely between you and your significant other.

Enjoy your rest until cat decides it's time to get up and do it all again.

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